How to Photograph a New Puppy Remove film from box and load camera Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle Choose a suitable background for photo Mount camera on tripod and focus Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on your knees Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with the other hand Get tissue and clean nose print from lens Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose Put magazines back on the coffee table Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head Replace your glasses and check camera for damage Jump up in time to grab puppy by the scruff of the neck and say "no, outside; no, outside!" Call spouse to clean up mess Fix a drink Sit back in a lazyboy and resolve to teach puppy sit and stay the first thing in the morning

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